Commitment
Often a relationship is maintained because of promises made. (Imagine that.) Couples involved in relationships with a high degree of satisfaction find a stronger bond of commitment than those couples who do not. Nothing new here, I know, but why don’t more couples understand this? Commitment can be divided into three types:
• Want to – own personal desire
• Ought to – moral obligation due to promises made (covenants)
• Have to – there’s no acceptable alternative
How can commitment be maintained? Identify the types of love that might be involved with this reason to stay together.
Convenience
Both partners may be involved in a business relationship, making this the foundation for their marital relationships. In this case it may be more convenient to stay together than to break up and go through the difficulties in finding another person to assume both roles. Neither person is fooling the other in this, and in such cases there is seldom any difficulty. The problem, though, is that they are living parallel lives. Sometimes this relationship can be out of balance where one partner is in it for love and the other is in it for convenience.
Children
Children are sometimes (unfortunately) brought into a relationship to save it. In some cases they do. Parents stay together because they feel it’s in the best interest of the children. In other cases, children provide a socially acceptable excuse to mask the real reason – convenience, financial advantage, fear of being alone, and so on.
Fear
Fear of being in the outside word, of being alone, facing other singles or going back to the singles game, or even making it on one paycheck is a reason why people stay together. As a result they preserve their relationship an alternative to these other options. Sometimes the fear may be of social criticism that they couldn’t keep the relationship together. Sometimes fear results from the consequences of violating a religious or familial tenet.
Emotional Attachment
Often a relationship is maintained because you love each other and want to preserve your relationship. Alternative couplings are not as enjoyable or attractive as the one you’re currently engaged in. Needs might be based on love, but others might not be so positive, such as the need to dominate, or that the relationship provides some type of ego gratification.
Inertia
Sometimes relationships stay together out of the simple principle of inertia, the tendency for a body at rest to remain at rest and a body in motion to remain in motion. Many people simply go along with the program, and it hardly occurs to them to consider changing their status – it’s too much trouble.
Inertia is greatly aided by the media. It easy for individual to remain stagnant in their relationships and search out vicarious form of satisfaction in film, literature, and any more, the internet. In these instances, the actor or characters do all the things the viewer would do if he or she were not so resistant to change.
